Ever thought about hiring your elementary or middle school child to sit you on your board of advisors? Perhaps it’s just what you need. Consider this….
A few years ago when my daughter was about nine years old, I asked her a hypothetical question. I said, “Hannah, if you had to choose between us continuing to live in the house we’re living in now and Daddy spending more time at work, or us moving to a smaller house and Daddy spending more time with you, which would you chose? She said, “A smaller house and you spending more time with me.”
Fortunately, it was a hypothetical situation and not a decision that I had to make at the time. But it could have been. And it still could be a choice that I have to make in the future. In fact, it’s a choice that many parents make, and they do so with very little thought – by default, if you will. We work harder and longer and do so all the time, saying, “I’m doing it for my family.”
When I asked my daughter this question, she didn’t have to think about it. She gave the right answer because she knew what mattered most. She knew the difference between the significant things in life and the insignificant. Why do we have such a hard time doing the same?
Patrick Morely, in his book “Man in the Mirror”, says, “A man’s most innate need is his need to be significant – to find purpose and meaning. He goes on to state, “How each of us answer the question, “Who am I?” and “Why do I exist?” determines how we pursue our significance. Our answers divide us succinctly into two groups: those who pursue significance in appropriate ways and those who pursue significance in inappropriate ways.”
Our culture tells us that we need to pursue our significance in inappropriate ways. Our kids tell us they want us to pursue them – an appropriate way to significance.
If you have younger children, say between the ages of six and twelve, I challenge you to ask them the same type question that I asked my daughter. I think I know what they will say, and I think you do, too. But ask the question anyway. You need to hear it, and I promise you won’t forget it.
Regarding the search for meaning and purpose, Morley writes, “Significance is not possible unless what we do contributes to the welfare of others.” Where are you making your contributions?
– Bill Edmonds
Bill Edmonds is an Executive Coach and Consultant who works with leaders to help them reach their full potential by specializing in areas of organizational and personal development. He spent 24 years in leadership with Merrill Lynch until his retirement in 2014, where he lead a $100+ million per year revenue business unit as a Director with the firm.
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